Brandy's guide to getting a job

All of these things Lisa has written about in my absence are true. There really is a wolf on my new debit card. We really were the only ones who showed up for a party at a piano bar called Howl At The Moon, and I really did ask the waitress to add more alcohol to my $1 drink. Lisa really did subsequently win a free party for 100 of her friends, and really does not know anyone Jewish. I really do have a job.

Also true-- I have, in the past three weeks, watched over 20 hours of Russian women cleaning their homes at said job. I know that Russian women use a Comet to clean everything. I know they sometimes use laundry detergent powder to clean their bathtubs and floors. I know they put a rag over a broom and call it a mop. This and MUCH MORE-- I am a wealth of knowledge.

Before I explain what this job is, I would first like to say, for those of you out there still looking for a source of income, I'm sorry to say I have no advice for you. My getting a job guide would look like this: 1. Apply to as few jobs as possible 2. Interview and get told you have a job at a fine foods market, but get a strange feeling it was too easy and something must be wrong, so fail to follow through 3. Spent a few weeks perfecting a daytime television schedule and become a domestic goddess. 4. Throw a housewarming party and wait for a stranger to offer you a full time temporary position in your field of study.

This is how it happened: Our roommate Sasha invited one of her co-workers to our housewarming party, and when she found out I was unemployed, she told me to send in my resume for a position as a temporary data logger. Sasha works for a market research firm, which is basically a bunch of psychologists and anthropologists who find out what people want or need from products. I watch their interview videos and transcribe what people say, their expressions, what they're doing, etc. Researchers use these logs to find patterns and put together a presentation for the company that hired them.

I don't know if that makes sense. Moving on.

So far I've witnessed several birthday parties, a woman break the news to her husband that she can't get pregnant, an old woman getting kicked out of a party outlet store for bringing in the camera, and yes, over 20 hours of Russian women cleaning their homes. But today I started with a new country-- Brazil! Where women pour buckets of water on the floor to clean. Every day is an adventure. Who will I watch clean tomorrow?

I think when you're feeling uncertain about your future it's good to cultivate a sense of adventure.

I also thinks it's good to set attainable goals for yourself. Which is why I've resolved to cut back on my most common typing mistakes.

Brandy's top typing errors:
1. BEcause
2. equiptment
3. ahve
4. spongue

I will try to decrease or elimnate these errors by next week.

Pioneers! O Pioneers!