The Worst Night of My Life

LESSONS I LEARNED IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS OF JULY 11TH

Don't change anyone's birthday plans for them. This can only end in the world slapping you with an open faced karma sandwich across the face.

Don't brush off the fact that your phone is dead.

Even if you check for your keys in your purse, and you hear them, and you feel them, THEY MIGHT NOT BE THERE, IT MIGHT JUST BE BOBBY PINS AND DIMES.

Always memorize a few other phone numbers than simply the one belonging to your half-deaf roommate.

Fix your spastic, non-working doorbell in case a crisis arises, such as in the event of having no phone and no keys and no contacts at 3:30am.

Always check the backyard for the possibility that a roommate is spooning with a boy in the dewy grass at 3:30am.

Don't tell a cabbie, "Yeah, you can leave, it's under control! Someone is here at this other house to help me!" if you do not know if that's true.

Avoid loitering in short dresses near parks populated with shady characters at 3:30am.

Avoid crying in the above situation.

Avoid pounding on your neighbor's door in an emotional frenzy in the above situation.

Avoid attracting unnecessary attention to yourself in the above situation.

Try to befriend people in your neighborhood who have doorbells that work.

Try to at least befriend a few people in a few surrounding neighborhoods.

If you finally find a friend with a working doorbell, be sure to identify yourself with first and last name. Then be sure to say THIS IS AN EMERGENCY LET ME IN so that they know you aren't a crazy crackwhore.

When you leave in the morning, try to get ahold of one of your roommates. Don't just leave. Don't just think that daylight will fix everything. Use the resources of internet and telephone available to you. Don't just leave!

If you just leave, you are a dipshit.




In essence, YES. I locked myself out of my EFFING house at 3:30am and had no phone and had NOWHERE. TO. GO. I suffered from PTSD for a few days afterward, and I remain nervous about leaving the house for any reason at all, because now I just want to be here all the time, always. I encourage anyone who has had a similar experience to speak up and speak out and let people know that you survived and this experience happened to you but IT DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. I am working through it. But I survived being on the street of Chicago.